High Maintenance Mom

As I prepared to go to the hospital to give birth to our second son, a small part of my brain worried about how our first born would react to his new sibling. I had read several chapters in books on sibling relationships, thanks to my naptime co-op when I was too large to do anything except sit uncomfortably on the floor and try to assist children as they woke up. In the middle of countless paragraphs on how building strong relationships was important, I found a suggestion for having the children exchange toys at the hospital...

Exchanging toys was something I could picture myself doing, figuring out when I could add one-on-one time with each of them and if it was really necessary was more difficult. So, I happily bought a Harold the Helicopter for our two-year who was just beginning his Thomas the Tank Engine collection. I also threw a few coloring books into my hospital bag (I keep thinking that if only I could find the right book I too would have a child who enjoys sitting quietly and coloring). I then requested that my husband take our two-year-old somewhere to get something small for his new brother, and something small for him, if he couldn't leave the store without a meltdown. As my water broke at 2:30 in the morning I realized that my hospital bag contained lots of stuff for the kids, but very little for me. I hadn't realized that once your water broke there was little you could do but leak so packing a bag was no longer a high priority.

Our second son was born around 8:30am (funny how I remember that our first was born at 3:01 but I have to really strain to remember the second one's birth time to the nearest half hour - in fact I probably feel more confident about my best friend's phone number from grade school than I do about my second child's birth stats). My husband picked up our first son in the afternoon, went to a store, and then picked up dinner. My less than brilliant plan involved us having dinner together as a family in my hospital room. Our first son was very excited to see me and his brother for about 90 seconds. He was even more excited to get his Harold the Helicopter, which he played with quietly for about 120 seconds before running around the room. He barely glanced at the coloring books and jumped up and down during a reading of one of his favorite books. He may have had a bite of dinner but was much more interested in climbing on everything in the room - including the bassinet, pushing every button he could find, and playing in the curtains. After 30 minutes of watching my 2-year-old giant stomp around, I was left alone with the newborn.

We still hear about Harold and how when the little one is older, he'll get his own Harold. It made a much larger impact than I had expected, maybe because he didn't have very many trains yet or maybe because he really believed that his brother came bearing gifts. The Eric Carle Hungry Caterpiller Coloring Book didn't work for us, nor did the suggestion that he draw a picture as a thank you note. Dinner was a bust but my husband brought me my toothbrush and contact lens solution so I was happy. We still haven't done more than a few minutes of one-on-one time with each kid but they seem to be fine and enjoy playing together.