Tips for the delivery and hospital stay

Submitted by HighMaintenanceMom on April 9, 2005 - 19:44.
As someone who had noticeable contractions from week 34 on, I really thought I was prepared for the hospital. What I didn't realize was how tired I would be before it all began. At some point I remember thinking, I've done all I can, the nurses will help me when I need help. But each nurse had their own way and their own personality. So here is a list of things I wish I had known before I went to the hospital... Before you go to the hospital
  1. The Girlfriend's Guide gives good advice on what to bring and what to leave at home. I enjoyed having my shampoo, toothbrush, facial cleanser, hair dryer, robe, and a book to read to the baby. I also found that I left the hospital in the same clothes I wore on the way in and that my son was small for the outfit I brought him home in. I actually brought several outfits for him but they turned out to be more complicated than I thought.
  2. If you are going to send an announcement by email, you might want to write some of it ahead of time and then give advice on what can be added. It's also a good time to pull all of your email addresses into an alias. If you have to search for the addresses, you might not get the announcement out as soon as you might have hoped.
  3. You may have to use a calling card to call long distance from your hospital room. Bring one along, just in case.
  4. Instead of a birth plan for the doctor, you might want to come up with a plan for your partner. I though we had a plan but I realized later that I might have benefited from writing out things for him to say.

    Here are a few ideas.

    • You are so beautiful.
    • You're so strong.
    • I'm so excited for us.
    • Remember when...and then a nice story about a peaceful setting.
    • I can't wait until we can all... and something nice that you both want to do that doesn't drive you crazy.
    • I love you.
    • You are so amazing for giving birth to such a beautiful baby
    • I'm so happy for us as a family
    • Thank you.

    Here are a few things not to say.

    • I thought you didn't want drugs.
    • The nurse has great hair.
    • Why is this taking so long? Are you doing it right?
    • Does it hurt?
    • I thought babies were supposed to be cute.
    • His feet are really scaly
    • What's all that ___ stuff?
    • That smell...
    • Is there supposed to be that much blood?
  5. Bring a small notebook and pen to record information about your child. While you are in the hospital, the nurses will be recording information about your child in a chart that is not automatically given to you. Keeping track of when your child has been fed and changed may be one of the only ways you and your partner communicate for the first few weeks.
  6. Make sure you have a lot of pads at home. I went to Costco and bought two large boxes. I never thought I'd use them all but I ended up sending my husband out to get more.
Once you are at the hospital
  1. Ask for help with everything. I had never seen such a small baby before. The nurses will show you how to diaper, hold, burrito (wrap tightly in a blanket), etc. The one caveat is to watch out for too much advice on breastfeeding. I had ten different nurses tell me how to do it (all differently). One had bad breath and grabbed my breast, it was one of the low points (the lowest point was the realization that after being awake for 72 hours that I would need to feed every 2-3 hours, for the foreseeable future, and that the feeding took over an hour).
  2. Request any items you might need.
    • If you are in pain, ask if there is anything that will help. Here are some of the items I ended up getting after my second child was born: tylenol/motrin, tucks wipes, vaginal cream (it turns out there is something that will take away the sting of the stitches), lansinol for your breasts, stool softeners. Some of these items may need to be requested by a doctor and therefore will take a significant time to get. The earlier you ask, the more likely you are to get help.
    • If you are having trouble sitting, request a donut cushion (inflatable thing to sit on).
    • If you are planning to breast feed and pump, request the hospital pump. I was told that I didn't need it the first time and couldn't figure out how to use my Medela at home. I ended up engorged and in a lot of pain. If you are considering renting the pump then the hospital will bring you the pump along with an extra set of the pump pieces. I recommend figuring out how to use the pump before you go, if you are planning to pump.
    • If you are bleeding a lot, request extra pads.
    • If you tear (it took a long time to stitch me up, but I was fine later) let the hospital make you ice packs for your entire stay. There used to be a product called TenderCool Pads (a maxi pad with built in ice pack) for use at home but they appear to be discontinued. You can use a sports injury ice pack or make your own at home with ice in a ziploc.
    • If your supply of diapers and wipes gets low, request more.
  3. Have the baby sleep in your room, if you can. I learned in the hospital that our son cries in his sleep. The nurse showed me how to watch him instead of picking him up and trying to feed or change him. This advice was very important for helping us learn how to sleep through the night. Babies are very noisy. We moved our first out of our room at 4 weeks. Whatever you decide to do, the most important thing is to be consistent.
  4. Have someone take lots of pictures. You may look tired in the pictures so it's nice to have a choice. Also consider taking a few of you looking at your child so you don't have to try to keep your eyes open for the flash. [I decided that no one needed to see me looking drugged with a bruised baby. My husband, however, sent one of our first child resting on me right after he was born - both sets of parents commented on the blood. I didn't find it funny until much later.] The picture I sent out to family and friends was from day two. By then I had showered, brushed my teeth, put in my contacts, and was wearing my own robe. It looked sweet instead of tired.
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