Schedule-not a four letter word

Submitted by EastCoastMom on April 23, 2007 - 17:19.

Ever since I found out I was having a baby a while back, it seems that the schedule debate has been looming as if it was a nasty four letter word. It was very clear to me that having a schedule for my new family would be a blessing and something that I would hold to come hell or high water. Let me make myself very clear, however. I do not believe that newborns should be on any schedule except for their own! I am talking about babies old enough to self soothe and those who understand the rhythm of the day. I found an interesting question and answer series on www.aplaceofourown.org in the Topics, Child Care Management, Schedules and Routines.

Most of my friends like a good schedule too but there are some I have come to know via playgroups, etc that just don’t take the time to stick with it. I have even had some say, “But what if I want to go shopping during the time my child is supposed to nap…” My jaw dropped and I had nothing to say. Now those who know me know that almost never happens.

It seems that every time a Mom complains about a nap problem, a time for bed problem or a lets get ready for school problem, they inevitably don’t have them on any sort of schedule. Now I know life happens and things come up…..I am a fun loving spontaneous kinda gal. But not having a bed time….not having a set nap time….it just seems cruel to me. How is a child to know what to expect from an already very unpredictable world if there is no schedule. I once read that a parent should try to see the world through their child’s eyes if they where having trouble soothing them. I did that a lot with my first child. I mean sometimes I would actually get on all fours and see the world as she saw it. Things look different. And have you ever thought about the fact that every time you get in the car with a young child, they have no idea where they will be in a few minutes or hours? Weird.

I know this topic is controversial, right up there with co-sleeping (yes, you guessed it, I am not a fan of co-sleeping). But I have yet to meet anyone who can honestly say that not having a set nap or bedtime works for his or her child. It may work for the Mom and Dad but can it really work for a young child?

( categories: Health/Food | Parenting | Venting | Toddlers )
Having a schedule means you can be flexible
Submitted by WestCoastMom on April 23, 2007 - 21:53.

My cousin had twins before I had B and I remember asking her about their schedules after B was born. It sounded difficult but at the same time, I couldn't imagine what feeding two kids was like. One seemed like a lot to manage and I really wanted to sleep. She not only stuck to a schedule and had great success with sleep, but she also didn't keep the house quiet during sleep time so her kids learned to sleep through noise. By following a schedule both of my kids were sleeping 12 hours at a time by 12 weeks. I was not a welcome participant in our moms group when I asked if 12 hours was too much sleep. Luckily, I had my cousin to comfort me. Other than helping me set the schedule, the best advice she gave was that having a schedule meant they could travel and do other things because the kids were comforted by the knowledge they would be back on the schedule later. It took me a while to understand it but I soon realized a schedule was just another set of rules. It's much easier to excel at a job if you know what the rules are and what is expected. Kids benefit from the same information and showing them the rules (we eat lunch around noon every day, then we read a book and take a nap) comforts them.

login or register to post comments

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.