High Maintenance Mom

Our youngest, N, is now wearing underwear during the day. Like, his brother, he started using the potty occasionally at an early age (around 18 months). We assumed it was going to take a while so we didn't pay much attention to it, unlike his older brother who we thought would be wearing underwear any minute so we rushed him off to the potty all the time. I think because it didn't become a game, we didn't visit every restaurant and plane bathroom. Or, it could be that since we now have two active boys, we travel and go out much less so their hasn't been as many opportunities to investigate every toilet and tampon container in our area...

About three weeks ago one of N's teachers said he had been using the potty when his friends went and had been keeping his diaper dry in between. She suggested we try underwear again. I was excited for the first few days as I dreamed of a summer vacation without diapers. Then the realization of what was happening hit. My son is going to the bathroom with his friends but not by himself. Would he know when to use the bathroom or was I going to need to take him to the potty every hour until he learned? I found the potty anxiety returning. The potty anxiety is the fear many of us have as adults that our kids will pee and poop on other people's furniture while they learn how to control their bodies. I find it's easiest to stay home during this short phase but it's not always possible.

I decided to focus on celebrating his achievement by taking him to Target to get new underwear. He didn't want any of the underwear I showed him. So we went to Carters because they previously had underwear with trucks and tools. The store we went to only had plain underwear and ones with dinosaurs. N didn't want the dinosaurs. I tried to explain that he would then be wearing the plain ones but got stuck trying to explain there were no planes on them, they were just blue. I think I might have even spelled the words, as if that was going to help.

He ended up with several packs of plain underwear in different colors and I took the phone numbers of other stores that might have the tool ones. Then I let him nap in the car on the ride home without a diaper, since he was doing it at school, and he pee'd in his car seat. Shortly after that we had several warm days where my car smelled like pee. Sorry if this disturbs you in any way. I remember a friend telling me to buy leather seats in the car because it would be easier to clean up the milk spills. At that point I wasn't going to let the kids eat in the car...

Two nights ago N woke up five times to use the potty. He made it through the night with a dry diaper but I was miserable. I really like my sleep. Last night N got up three times before 11 pm and then not again until 7:30 when he had a wet diaper. As I write this, he has already gotten up three times to go poop or pee (see http://highmaintenancemom.com/drupal/node/203 for more on getting up at night). It appears he is learning when his body needs to use the toilet and is able to hold it until he gets there (if it's nearby).

The one item I didn't mention in my previous post, Some of the things they don't tell you about potty learning, is nightlights. It's very helpful to have a lighted path to the toilet at night. It's an exciting time and N is proud of himself. I'm finding my own anxiety has been decreasing, but I will still carry a plastic bag with extra pants and underwear for the foreseeable future.

Related articles:

• Potty Learning - with or without the bathroom remodel
• Some of the things they don't tell you about potty learning
• Mommy, there's an ant in my room and other excuses for not sleeping