High Maintenance Mom

The other night we had a dinner conversation that reinforced how differently the kids and I think at times. Now that both kids can carry on conversations of varying complexities, I often find myself assuming the kids think like I do. It's a sad assumption that I know I shouldn't make about anyone but here I am, assuming my almost 5 year-old and I see things the same way when it's made perfectly clear to me time and time again that we want different things. For example, I would like a clean room and B would like to cover his floor with as many toys as possible. Because I continue to search for examples where we do see things the same way, I innocently started a conversation about the preschool bunny who had just died. "I hear the bunny died over the weekend." Yes the kids replied, leaving me to believe that we were all in agreement on what had happened to the very old bunny...

"What do you think happened?" I asked, mainly to hear if they were going to remind me that Butterfly, the bunny, was very old and they had been asked to give her more space all year. B started off. "In my small group we looked around for clues." Oh I said, knowing Butterfly had been left in her hutch so the kids could see her and talk about it. "What clues were you looking for," I asked, again mistakingly thinking I knew what was going on. "A robber came and shot the bunny," B said, "and we were looking for clues." "Hmm, I said, what evidence did you find that Butterfly was shot?" Silence. Then, "oh, yeah, I forgot, they used invisible bullets." "Did you find anything else," I asked. "Some leaves, a bouncy ball, a few footprints, and a worm."

So I turned to my younger son and asked him what had happened. He replied, "Butterfly died and the firetruck and came and the ambulance came and the firemen took him to the hospital and the doctor made him better and then he came back and then he died again." I decided not to ask N how the firetruck knew to come on a weekend even though I was fascinated by his desire to have firemen and ambulances involved in the bunny story. S and I also had to work hard not to laugh. Eventually I asked if Butterfly had lived a long life and the kids agreed. B was going to look for more clues and N had moved on to making fire engine noises.

Although the bunny conversation could have been about anything, it makes me smile to think about the kids' imaginations and how they can turn any event into a story about the things they are interested in. It also forces me to remember that we really do approach situations differently and that if I can focus on the things that interest them, we might be more able to find solutions to common problems such as how to get out of the house in the morning.